A Fathers Love.....

Today marks what would have been my Father's 69th birthday.
He passed away in 2005 and it seems like just yesterday we shared
moments together.
Let me take a few minutes to tell you about the most marvelous man I ever met.
He was born on Wednesday March 31st 1943, a day that would truly change
the lives of so many others who came before and after him.
His given name was Charles Edmond but by the time he reached
high school most people called him Chuck or Charlie.
He loved to spend his time away from school fishing, hunting and playing baseball.
While in his school schedule he liked playing on the basketball team, being in track
and field, he often told us of how he once high jumped to the height of six feet.
He also liked to tell us that he loved sleeping in Latin class.
Obviously I have no memories of his childhood because I wasn't there for it but
I do relish all stories of him told by those who were there and they have as many
good things to say about my fine Father as I do.

Nothing did he enjoy more than spending time outdoors with those he loved.
He didn't get his drivers license until he was thirty five years old but that didn't
stop him from taking us all around town.
We would walk the couple kilometers to the bus and make our way to see a
movie at the old Center Theatre or go for a bite to eat downtown at Kresge's,
Woolworth or Sentry department stores.
Most Saturdays were spent this way and I cherish every memory I have of
those delightful days past.

He worked a steady Monday-Friday day schedule at Big Horn Saddles.
How fittingly fine his field was for an avid horse admirer like me.
My Sister and I would pester him repeatedly in hopes that he would buy us a horse.
I remember my Pepe (my Dad's Father) driving me downtown with him
to fetch my Father after work.
I would run out of the car in a flash and be off to find him before Pepe Gene
could even make a complete stop.
Once I found him he would hoist me up atop of a sparkling saddle that sat
on a cart that rolled and would ride me around the warehouse.
I would laugh loudly and and was completely happy in those moments, ahhh
to be young again and that easily pleased in life.
Do you know that I can still smell the sweet leather loveliness of those saddles
when I close my eyes and recall the memories?

It wasn't always wonderful though and my teen years turned into superb
sadness for him.
As you've probably guessed, I'm a pretty high-spirited soul and that wasn't
a good thing once hormones got a hold of me.
I was unruly, selfish and very stubborn, still haven't shaken the stubbornness.
I became very dark and secluded, I was teased through grade school and had
high hopes of high school being a more mature place.
When I discovered it was even worse than my previous educational experience
I quickly quit and am shamed to say that I never went back.
I became romantically involved with a man ten years older than me and soon
separated myself from anyone outside of him.
My Father tried endlessly to please me while also making efforts to get my
behind back in school.
I spent a couple months in the hospital as a young teen for sad attempts at suicide
and I can't even begin to imagine what that did to him and my family that loved me.
I treated my Father so awful during this time in my life that it still makes my eyes leak
and heart hurt almost thirty years later.
Daily did my tongue sling sour swears at him and I lashed out with all the
faults in me.
It took a long time for me to see what a loving, supportive, forgiving Father
he was but once I did he became the Man I wanted to make amends with.
This was a couple years before my Hubby Bub and I had reconnected and by
the time he moved in with me, Papa Chaz and I were in a very good place.
My Father instantly took a liking to my new love interest and welcomed him into
our family with an open heart.
You see my Hubby Bub's Mother and my Father were raised down the street
from each other and knew each others families well.
My Father liked that my new boyfriend also loved to hunt and fish as he did.
One of the funniest things about my Dad was that he was always going around
making up Nick-Knack-Names for everyone.
My Hubby Bub was no exception, he graced him with the name "Zeke"
and rarely called him by his birth name.

We spent a ton of time with him and my family as most of them lived in the
same neighbourhood as we did and he even lived with us once we had children.
I savor those years we shared.
His sense of humor was completely corny and he loved making others laugh
with his silly ways of saying things.
He use to refer to Great Big Sea, one of my favorite bands as
"Squid Jiggers & Heron Chokers"
He liked the Red Green show, North Of 60 and most all of the Ernest movies.
His musical tastes were rooted in old country but he also loved Three Dog Night
and Roy Orbison.
As a devote Catholic he weekly gave some of his wages to the church and
sponsored less fortunate families over the years.
A simple man he always was and wanted nothing more in life than to have
everyone gather and get along.
He loved the Toronto Maple Leafs no matter how terrible a team they were
and got into March Madness every year.
He couldn't carry a tune and he drove my Sis and I madly when he would
stroll around the house in song.
I can't tell you what I'd give to hear him sing again.

Today I have been listening to music he loved, telling stories of him to
our youngest Son and later we will be having one of his favorite meals,
BBQ spare ribs and corn of the cob!
I could type of memories made with him all day but I must get to work that
needs to be done around here.
I'll add a few pictures of him one of which has my oldest Son wearing his
old baseball jacket.
Also, I've included a song that he sang nightly to my Sis and I as we set off
in search of slumber.
Thanks for reading what's on my mind and if you are lucky enough to still have
your Father alive I hope you shower him with love.
If mine were here that's what I'd be doing.

True Gifts.....

Give me a minute here folks, still sweeping sleep from my sight.
It took my a little longer than usual to leave the nest today.
I didn't sleep so swell last night, Mr Happy hands is to blame.
In less than a month it will mark twenty years that I have been tolerating this.
It could be the one thing people hear me complain about more than anything else.
Pardon the pun but I feel sleep is not something you "screw" with.
Hubby Bub doesn't feel the same way, obviously.
I better stop typing about this though because I can almost hear my Sister
saying "ewwwww to much information."

On to why I titled this entry the way I did.....
A couple of days ago Hubby Bub and I went to visit some good friends.
I'm shamed to say that's it's been over a year since we last saw them and
yes, we live in the same city so I have not that to use as an excuse.
Sad I know but I'll try my best to not let that happen again.
After exchanging hellos and hugs we sat down for a nice little visit.
Her two Stepsons were there along with her Grandson who is now seventeen.
Seems like just a stones throw from the day he was born
Time really does gain speed with every passing year, I swear on my soul it does.
I always enjoy spending time with these folks because they are fun to be around,
speak their minds and are always kind and generous.
A short time ago our friends took a long trip to a variety of places and in their
travels they picked up a gift for me.
As I've said before, I never feel deserving of most things and though I do enjoy
being given a gift I felt foolish that she would even think of me considering how
long it's been since I stopped in to say hello.
What they bought for me is a sketch of a pelican that is also signed by the artist!
My eyes started to leak right off and I had to stop myself from becoming a
blubbering mess.
They purchased it in New Orleans and I am still touched that they would do
something so sweet for me.
I collect pelicans and even have a tattoo of one on my leg so this was a wonderful gift
and I will always have happy thoughts when I look at it.
It's not the thing I cherish most though.
Their friendship, kindness and consideration are the true gifts here and I am blessed
to have them and so many others in my life.

After we said our so longs, we drove her Grandson home and I went in to
see her Daughter, one of my oldest and closest friends.
I haven't seen her in awhile either so it felt great to go in and give her a big hug.
I would have liked to hug her Hubby Bub also but he was held up trying to hold
their huge horse of a dog from jumping on me, thank you Sir, I appreciate that!
Later that night after nestling down in the nest to say my prayers, I thanked the
big guy for all the wonderful blessings in my life, my friends and family always top
that list and as I closed my eyes in search of slumber I was filled with love and happiness.

At the moment my mind is wrapped around thoughts for another friend who
is also a family member.
We saw each other last on Saturday at her Nephews funeral and it was wonderful
to talk with her and so many other people I love even though it was in a gathering
of grief.
Since that day she has been sick and unable to work, I'm worried over her and pray
that soon she will return to well health and her happy self.

As I leave these lines I'm filled with the sunshine of this day and happy
to be making my way through it.
Many thanks and much praise to the big guy, my friends & family that make life
worth all the struggles of living through it.
I hope well health is yours and that the day at hand is a good one for you.
Thank you for reading what's on my mind. 

Spring Or Summer?.....

Well the calendar says it's Spring but it feels like Summer and I'm not
spitting sours over it.
All the glorious sunshine and warmth has helped to keep my spirits
soaring lately.
That's always a good thing.

In my last entry we were still enjoying March Break, now everyone is back to
the daily routines of life and looking forward to Summer vacation.
In our house we all look forward to something in the future once the
present moments have passed.
No one does this more than our oldest Son though, he flies by the seat of his pants
looking forward to things that are a year away and makes sure we all know his
every excitable thought for each upcoming event.
It's one of the things I love most about him.
As I type this he is working out sleeping arrangements and food preparation 
for everyone on family vacation.
It looks like we will be over 30 people going so I gather his head is spinning.

Our youngest Son at the moment is held up in the clutches of consequence.
Yup he's a fiery little Fella and is always willing to suffer through any discipline
to get what he wants.
You see, he has to make a musical instrument and present it on Friday but he
wanted to play outside longer when he was called in to work on it last night.
His Father warned him to come in and do it but playing with friends was more
important at the time.
I'm usually the one who doles out discipline in this house and if our little Lad
would have wrapped his mind around what his Father told him to do then he wouldn't
be staying in after school on this beautiful March day.
He is our little Irish fireball and I love him for many reasons and his persistence
is one of em even though it makes me madly at times.

We have been enjoying this beautiful weather by spending more time outdoors,
sitting by the fire pit, barbequing and going for rides out in the county.
Earlier this week we took a drive out to a local tourist spot called Colasanti's and
I always enjoy riding on the route we take.
County rd 34 is filled with magical memories from my childhood.
My Father used to take us out there on Sunday's and after we would visit Colasanti's
we would make stops at the Cottam Pond, Cob Corner, The Dairy Freeze and
McLeod's Farm.
If for some reason we didn't go to Colasant's then we would make all the other
stops after venturing into Leamington for an ice cold glass of tomato juice
at the big tomato.
When we drive by or stop in and visit these places I can still see my Father
laughing, telling stories and playing with us.
I'm even lucky enough to have made memories with him at some of those places
with my Husband and oldest Son.

We also had some sadness strike branches of our family again this past week.
A Cousin of mine was called home at 36, far to young for all the hearts who loved
him to say goodbye.
He leaves behind his life lady and two teen children.
I've prayed for them and their families constantly since hearing of his passing on Saturday night.
I will keep happy memories of his family in mind as I make my way through this day.

Well it is beyond beauteous out there so I must go bask in it!
Thanks for reading what's on my mind and may you be well in your own ways.







  

Good Gravy Life Is Great!.......

Well this past weekend it was anyway.....
Plans for the deer camp were already well on their way by Friday morning.
My Sis and I spoke for awhile about everything over the phone and ignored
the eight times our Mother tried to interrupt our conversation with her
constant calling.
After we hung up I felt overcome with excitement and got busy with
finishing up the packing for my family.

The day was uneventful and it seemed like five o'clock would never arrive.
It did and we were greeted at the deer camp with my Sister and her family in tow.
Always a wonderful sight.
I've mentioned before how nice it always is when company contributes to a meal
when we get together, well my Sis brought Chinese food with her and it was
delicious and devoured by our eight hungry mouths.
My Sisters Husband had to work in the morning and couldn't stay the night
with us but it sure was wonderful to spend some time with him again.
A kind hearted, smart, funny man he is and it's always a pleasure to share his company.

Saturday we enjoyed breakfast and some chatting time before my Sis and the kids
got to heading back home.
After they departed I found myself in a very grateful state and wished they could have
spent the whole weekend with us but work calls and she had to answer to her schedule.
She spoke of returning for dinner on Sunday night and we had high hopes
of our Cousin and his family joining us as well.

Sunday found us in a very relaxing way.
I enjoyed cleaning and keeping the cabin tidy while also making a no fuss
breakfast and lunch.
We did experience some turbulence with our youngest Son later in the afternoon
which landed him upstairs for a cool off period.
While he was up there my Sister showed up with her kids, one of their friends and
my oldest Son.
That instantly simmered my stress over the whole situation.
It was then that we found out my Cousin and his crew would be joining us.
A good night was gonna be had, I just knew it at that point!
While everyone was bustling about outdoors I answered my Cousin's phone, it
was his brother telling us that our family vacation plans were a go and I was
very excited to spread the good news.
I must tell you of the superb supper we shared.
My Sister made butter chicken, a dish I had never had but have heard others
salivate over.
I'm always grateful and enjoy any meal folks make but this one meant more because
she made it after working a midnight shift and being waken by kids with only three
hours of sleep.
I loved every mouth watering bite and appreciate all she did to make it back out
with us for another visit.
Did I mention that the dog who was hit last week was also at the deer camp with us?
Yup, not only did she live but she suffered no incredible injury.
She walks with a limp and has a small cut on her face but is alive and well.....absolutely amazing.
We watched the little ones take turns shooting the guns and enjoyed
each others company .
My Sis couldn't stay the night  so we said so long shortly after that.
I kissed her and thanked her for all her efforts, expressed our love and said see ya soon.

The night was filled with fun and laughter.
The kids had a full day and happily went upstairs to watch a movie when bed time came calling.
The four of us adults gathered around the kitchen table for some smiles, sauce and belly shakes.
My Husband had been up early and was in the fields with our Son for
most of the day so he was tried and said goodnight before everyone.
My Cousin's lady was next to leave and she looked as though she hadn't slept
in a week when she left us at the table.
We quickly got bored with what the radio had to offer and put on some George Jones
and Willie Nelson cd's.
After laughing and sharing magical memories of our childhood with each
other, I recall my Cousin starting to have eye leaks over our conversation.
Not sad and depressing but happy and filled with love.
I'll cherish that weekend forever for many reasons but when I can make others cry as
I so frequently do, it's just gravy I tell ya.

Well I could type about this all day but I have places to go and a very beautiful day is
out there for us to dive into.
Thank you for reading what's on my mind and may this day be marvelous for you.

Spilt Second Sadness.....

I'm sitting in front of the computer screen just trying to shake the awful images
of yesterday from my mind, I know I can't but still I try.

Let me start at the beginning so you can get a better picture of what took place.
As any of you living in southern Ontario know, it was wonderful weather wise
around here yesterday and I couldn't wait to get on my bike and ride through
the rays of sunshine that spread across the city.
The bike ride over to babysitting found me full of life and in a good way.
The day had been going well and there was no indication that anything
would change it.
My Cousin was on his way to work and was also in good spirits over
the sunny weather.
I had a few minutes to fling around so I did the dishes and tossed toys
for their dog before I had to pick up the oldest child at the bus.
This dog loves playing fetch and we were having fun but as the hands inched
by on the clock I knew I must get a move on it or I would miss the kids bus.
I brought the dog in the backyard and made my way to the bus stop..
Coming off the bus he tossed me his backpack and coat, we walked back to
the house and he told me his day at school went well, always nice to hear that.
The dog was excited to see us and couldn't wait for us to return the attention.
I instructed the child to go in the house remove his shoes and put his backpack
on the table, told him I was gonna get his furry friend and be right in.

This is when the day took a terrible turn.....
Just as I was bringing her in the house she yanked her neck and got out of her collar.
I called for her and started after her but she took off like the wind and ran
three houses away before stopping to get some attention from a group of teenagers
gathered at the bus stop, she darted again to the next house before turning around
and then shooting into the street.
The oncoming conversion van slowed down but failed to stop and hit her head on.
I watched on in absolute horror as I saw the accident unfold in slow motion before my eyes.
I can't even put into words how horrible the sight and sounds were and I
was certain the dog was a goner .
To my surprise she got up and started running around in the street yelping in pain.
My heart broke and I was torn on what I should do next, stay with the dog or go back
to the house with the child.
Of course I had to go get the boy but did I want to bring him there to see his dog
injured and in pain like that?.....GOODNESS NO!

After I got back to the house and called my Cousin to explain what happened he
told me to wait there with his Son and the Mother would be home soon.
Some good Samaritans stayed with the poor pooch while I waited shaken up by
what just took place.
I then heard someone at the door and opened it to see two angry men there.
They started screaming at me and threatened to press charges and told me how
cruel I was to leave.
I quickly figured out that these were the men in the van that hit her.
Politely and as calmly as I could, I explained to the men why I couldn't just go
to the dogs side and though they weren't happy when they left I was
glad to see them go.
A few minutes later another gentleman came knocking but this time it was a
very friendly calm man. 
He told me that the humane society was called and the dog was on her way to
get medical treatment.
He was very understanding and not at all hostile, I will forever remember his
kindness and compassion for the dog and myself.
Thank you Sir, wherever you are.

I stayed with the children while the Mother went to see the dog.
Waiting for word on her condition felt like an eternity before the call came in.
The dog would be kept for observation and watched for internal bleeding.
I started typing this earlier but wasn't able to finish it until today and as I am adding
this entry the dog is at home healing with her family.
What I saw that day and what is now just can't be explained.
I believe miracles happen all over and on March 7th 2012 I saw one
with my own eyes.
Thank you sweet Jesus above for the things you do that defy logic!

We have a busy weekend planned with our family and I will be away from
the computer for a few days so there will be no more entries until early
next week at least.
Thank you for reading what's on my mind and may this day find you well
and full of life, lap it up Folks!

Spring Forward.....

That's what I'm trying to do, so far, so good.
I'm definitely looking forward to gaining the extra hour of daylight
this weekend.
Though we had a very mild Winter, I'm happy to see it haul out of here.

I don't have anything particular to type about this morning but my mood is
much better so I wanted to add a few words before I get to the work I have
to do today.
I want to make mention of all the kind words folks had for me after my last entry.
One of the things that keeps me a float when I feel like I'm sinking is the love
that surrounds me.
Kind words of encouragement from family and friends near and far fuel me to
move forward and look at life in a finer way.
Thank you to all of you who reached out to offer me sweet says, it's helped
to have me in a better way today.
Reading back on that entry kinda makes me feel a bit embarrassed because
I so easily shared the sadness that stirred inside me, a sign of weakness to some
maybe but I'm nothing if not an emotionally honest woman. 
I've always enjoyed sharing things in my life and there is nothing I have more of
than emotions so I'll continue to let the feelings flow!
When I have times like that it's usually the kindness of others that help get me
back to good and I believe it's the Big Guy's way of giving me what I need.

Today I'll be cooking the day away, perogy pinching to be precise.
We are going to the deer camp for a few days and I want to give some homemade
goodies to family members and friends that we'll be seeing while we're away.
Right now I'm just enjoying my coffee and listening to some music for to get me
in a motivated mood.
I never do tire of seeing folks enjoy anything I make but it takes some effort
for me to get moving along in making these.
That being said I'll leave these lines with a song I've been sweet on lately.
Thanks for reading what's on my mind and I hope you can make this day
a little better than the last, I know I'm trying too.

The Mighty Woeful Wind.....

Well it sure has been mighty around here lately.
Thought our house was gonna go wizard of oz like last night.
Maybe it will help blow away all the gloom I've been feeling the last few days.
This week wasn't wonderful and I'm still not back to a sunnier self just yet.
Many reasons are why it's so.
Probably the most prominent being the lives that have been taken lately.
When folks I know pass I always feel like they didn't deserve it and I should be in
their place. I never feel deserving of anything, least of all life.
Now don't any of you reading be going all sappy and sad for me, this poo will pass.
It's feelings and they flow through me more than the blood in my veins some days.
I wanted to add a blog entry a couple of other times this week but was waiting for my
miserable mood to pass.
It hasn't as of yet and I felt like I needed to release a bit so for to help me get
a handle on everything I have been thinking about.

One of the biggest blunders of mine is that at times I compare myself
to others I know.
I see everyone in a much better light than I do myself and it makes me mad
because everything in me knows that it's wrong to think like that, yet I
constantly do it when I'm in a woeful way.
Right now as I type these lines a friend of mine has been in the hospital for almost
two weeks and has been in and out of there for months with health issues that
have went unsolved.
A family member who has struggled with Cancer for eight years is awaiting
surgery for new, serious health scares.
I know that I am not living my life to it's full potential and I'm not sure if it's
laziness, fear or lack of confidence that stops me from changing it.
I know what wars within myself need to be won but I haven't fought them yet
and I'm not certain that I ever will.
Those who know me well are aware of my struggles and have confronted
me about them.
I think of those people often when feeling like this and know that I am letting
them down as well as myself.
I get caught up in my failures and how I don't do right by my loved ones.
It starts a slew of sadness in me and is hard to shake sometimes.

Well I do have some work to do around here and I am looking forward to my
Husband coming home, it was an ugly night of last and I have some
apologizing to do.
I'll leave these lines with a song that came to mind while I was typing this entry out.
I hope this day finds you in a better way than myself and that well health is yours.
As always, thanks for reading what's on my mind.