Precious Time.....

That's what's on the mind grounds this morning.
Recently I went to see an Aunt in the hospital who is very ill and it's got me
thinking about life in a large way.
This Aunt has always been very kind and considerate towards me and other
members in my family and I'm sad with worry for her well health.
Like when anyone I love is sick or in a bad way, I always want to run to their
side and do anything I can to make them smile or feel better.
My Mother has always told me how her oldest Sister was like a Mother to her
since they lost theirs when my Mom was only sixteen.
She was there for her when she struggled in her first pregnancy and gave birth
only six months after their Mother had died of Leukemia.
Through the agony of giving her first child up for adoption.
A few short years later she would again be there for the bumps and bruises
of , marriage, two more pregnancies and eventually a divorce and custody battle.
Through it all, there was my Aunt, always offering her love, support and encouragement.
It hurts to not only to know that she may not have long to live but to see my
Mother in sadness over it as well.
I feel helpless and long to heal my Mothers heart and rid my Aunt of her disease.

Yesterday I had breakfast with three of my Cousins, two of them also call
the lady I've mentioned, their Aunt.
We spoke of how good she looked when we had our reunion in July and of
how quickly things change in life.
I am so happy that we had those precious moments back on July 20th
because they mean even more to me now.
The conversations were kept light and I'm sure that's because none of us
wanted to sink in the sadness of the situation and always seek sharing smiles
when we're all together.
What I took from our breakfast meeting was a renewed sense of love for not
only those I have in my life but for the precious time we've been given to share
those moments, thanks Big Guy!

This weekend I will be gathering with my Sister and her crew.
Call it an end of Summer Soiree.
I am very excited for this as I will be getting my oldest Son back.
You see, my Sister and her Husband have had the pleasure of his company
all Summer and I miss him so very much!
I know we'll have fun and I can't wait to soak in all the smiles, sunshine and moonlight.
Last night we allowed our youngest Son to have a sleep over and though
they were up way to late for my liking, I'm beaming over their best behaviour.
Aidn hasn't had very many friends since we moved here seven years ago and
it pleases my blood pumper to see him have more people to play with now.
I never had many friends at his age but I'm happy to say that the one I was closest
to back then, I'm still in close contact with now.

Well I just made the boys potato pancakes for breakfast and my Son's friend
has never had them before.
I'm basking in the praise from there mouths and bellies, it is a great thing when
others appreciate the efforts we make for them, isn't it?
I'll leave you with a picture I posted not long ago here, just feel like it needs
to be seen again.
Also, I will leave you with a finely fitting song for this blog entry and a couple
of pictures from yesterday.
In closing I would like to ask any of you out there that are Lord lovers to please offer
up a prayer for my Aunt's well health, she needs them now more than ever!
Thank you for reading what's on my mind and may this day be marvelous for you!

The Waters Edge.....

This week has been a rough one and when that happens I often go to the
water to quiet my mind and the world around me.
Yesterday that's exactly what I did.
After spending the day in "irritable self syndrome mode", I was ready for
release when my Husband came home from work.
He instantly knew there was something wrong and started to try peeling the layers
of my problems away.
I would have none of that though, if I started to let my sourness out it would just
snowball into things that had nothing to do with my miserable way.
I needed to be alone with my ugliness, no good ever comes from
unleashing it on others.
So I put my pounds to pedaling and made may way to where I longed to be,
along the waters edge.

The weather was warm with a threat of rain in the clouds above but that was the
furthest thing from my mind.
Though a sky seep would have felt finely fitting for my foul mood, I'm glad the
clouds held it together so I could sit and reflect about my sour self.
While I was down there I thought about the many nights I spent sitting alone at the
beach as a teen and just how much of my life has been spent in or by the water.
How many times have I cried to her swaying shore?
Just thinking those thoughts, once again brought about the eye leaks that marked
my face on and off through the day.
That old expression "you are your own worst enemy" rings true in me and yesterday
I made sure that I would stay stuck in the mud of myself for most of the day.
Thinking back on how hard I thought life was at 14, I realize now just how much
easier it could have been if I had only applied myself more.
That has had a direct impact on how I live life now.
Though I fall flat on my face frequently and fumble through most tasks, I keep trying!
I find comfort in that because there are moments when I just don't want to
live in my skin.
Today I can see clearly and what's visible is the vestige in the verge of destruction.
No worries Folks, I'm fine and refueled. 

Standing on the rail by the water I looked up and down the river for anything
to make me smile.
The mermaid I was hoping for never made her way to the surface but
something more meaningful showed it's face.
Walking back to the picnic table I had parked myself on earlier, I wondered
why my number hasn't been called?
I was feeling like quite a failure and wanted the big guy to answer me that one question, directly!
A tidal wave in the think tank of thoughts came crashing through, "I've failed my kids, Husband and all my loved ones", "Why couldn't I be more like others?", "There's nothing positive in me", "I feel stupid and untalented", "You made me as an example to show the world what a failure really is, didn't you!?"
"She was right, I didn't amount to anything" and on it went for several minutes.
You know what those are, don't you?
They're Pity Party Favors, Folks.

Though I'm uncertain if I should share such intimate thoughts of myself,
with all of you, it's the one thing that makes me believe I'm trying to do
something for the benefit of my well health.
Speaking in smiles and sunshine doesn't always work for me.
Anyway, I was telling you about the meaningful thing I saw.
As I was eye leaks into my unending emotions, wiping my tears, I looked
West and saw a women in the distance walking her dog and heading towards me.
She walked as if intoxicated and once she got close enough for me to see the
details of her face, I realized why.
She was clearly crippled with some disease that not only disfigured her
facial features but also made mobility difficult for her.
I smiled at her as she walked past and she gave me a grin, it was a
wonderful moment.
Instantly my thoughts changed direction and I knew that a sign was
just offered to me. 
It was then, the pity party was at it's end.  :)
Moments later my Husband showed up to check on me, being well aware of
the woeful way I was in.
I told him that I would be along soon and after he left I got on my
bike and made my way home.

So with the clean slate of a new day and it is Friday after all, I've given
myself another good talking to and decided that the only way to sow
successful seeds in life is to plant them in a plentiful field.
I like to think that's what I've been doing here since last November.

That was hard but I'm feeling pretty good about my decision.
I've always been a risk taker and I've been playing Russin Roulette with
the monsters in my mind, for years.
I'll leave you with a song that's like an old friend to me.
Thanks for reading what's on my mind and may this day be filled
with delight for us all.

The Ones I Look To.....

Many people come to mind when I think of those I look to.
Topping the list most days are my Aunt and my Sister.
Both are very kind and generous souls who often put the needs and desires
of others, first.
My Aunt's entry into the pearly gates is something I'd be willing to bet on.
Hopefully all of you have someone like that in your life, as well.
When I think of how I'd like to improve things about me, it's her and a couple
of others that I'd like a carbon copy from.
My Father is also one who I look to but now that he's departed I have only
the past to search for the lessons he left me.

Actually there are many folks I see different strengths in.
Some friends that we've met up with in the last week, are some.
My Cousin (close friend) came over for dinner on Tuesday and while
we were chatting it up, one of our favorite couples, stopped by.
It's been quite awhile since we've seen them last and it was super sitting,
sharing smiles and laughter with them again.
I met the Wife half of the D&D Duo, twenty years ago when she worked
with my Mother.
Not long after we were introduced, we became best of friends.
Her mild manner and forgiving nature, has always held my admiration.
Quite comical she is, as well and constantly cracks me up.
She's had her share of bumps in the road of life, sink holes even but she
stuck it out, slapped a smile on her face and stepped forward.
Now she is happily married to a man I also admire.
He loves her and all their children, works his backside to the bone
for less than he's ever had to before and is devoted to his loved ones.
Always welcoming when it comes to friends and family, he opens his heart
and home to all of us.
I'm thankful to have had three of my best friends over for a visit and hope
that we can get together again soon.

Over the weekend we were once again in Wheatley, this time it was to
help our friends.
Our youngest Son brought a friend with him and it was wonderful to see
them having fun.
Jumping, splashing and sharing laughter were highlights of the weekend for me.
As always, our friends were generous and great to keep company with.
The food was fabulous and our time there sped by, way to quickly for my liking,
Thanks for all the love, laughter and late nights this Summer, my friends,
they won't soon be forgotten and I'm forever thankful for them.
Though I don't know yet if his efforts paid off, my Husband worked on getting
their hot tub back to bubbly.
A few weeks back he removed the broken piece and just put the new one in.
I hope it worked but none of us were sure when we left.

Back to the title at hand which I really haven't strayed from.
I gather that all of those I love and spend precious time with are indeed the
ones I look to.
Some, for nothing more than a reassuring smile or supportive squeeze,
others offer humor and help lighten my load with laughter.
My children give me promise in their personalities, they persevere
and plow on even against my best efforts to tame them.
My Husband, who is to blame for my hair loss some days, works harder than
anyone I know and always gives it his best go.
Blessed is me and I know it!
Though I'm in pain today, I've been focusing on the fabulousness of the
Folks in my life.
Yup, I'm provoking the positive so I can numb the negative!

Well I must get to this day, it's Monday and that always means more
effort needs to be made!
I'll add a picture from our get together last week.
Thanks for reading what's on my mind and may you enjoy the remainder of this day.

 

Concert High Coolness!.....

That's what I was into last Friday night.
It took some bribing and convincing on my part but I was finally
able to talk my Husband into taking me to Rockin' On The Riverfront.
This was the fourth time we had been and it was an enjoyable evening out,
even though Hubby Bub was in a miffed mood all night.
I didn't let that stop me from having a swell time though.
The weather was wonderful, like it's always been when we go.
Hot, humid and a blowing breeze from the water, beaming I was!
We've seen Asia, Three Dog Night and Bachman Turner there and I
haven't been disappointed yet.

He sang all the hits but my favorite for the night was Just Between You And Me.
For those of you who may not know who Lou Gramm is, I'll fill you in.
He was once the lead singer for a band called Foreigner, a successful band
from the 80's.
Huge hits they had, that included Jukebox Hero, Hot Blooded, Cold As Ice,
Waiting For A Girl Like You, Urgent, Double Vision, Feels Like The First Time
and Head Games.
Though Journey was my favorite band back then, I always enjoyed most of the
efforts these guys released to radio.
Mr Gramm was diagnosed with a brain tumor back in the late 90's and lost a lot
of the range and power in his voice though he still sounds sweet to me.
The show was just over an hour long but with the opening band it was well over
two hours worth of good solid classic rock.

After the show, we were off to spend the weekend at our Aunt and Uncle's
house in Michigan.
They needed some help with stuff around the house and we're always happy to
help them out.
It was after 11pm once we arrived so I took to doing some laundry and getting
Aidn ready for bed.
Hubby stated he would come and sit outside by the water with me but he ended
up falling asleep on the couch instead, I gave him grief for it the following day
but then felt badly because he works so hard and is up everyday by 6am.
Of course he can't stay up as late as I do.
Sometimes I expect far to much from him.
Again, it didn't ruin my good time and I stayed up by the shore, all by my lonesome
until five in the morning.
The moon was marvelous in her bright beautiful beaminess on the water, man that
sight sucks me in, every time!
I awoke in a well way and even I was surprised by my good mood.
Rarely am I in a bad way when I'm there because my Aunt is one of those people
that make everyone feel warm and welcome.
Also her Husband is very hospitable and gets a kick out of our little fireball, Aidn.
I'm so glad that we get to spend so much time with them and I'm already looking
forward to seeing them both, this coming weekend.

I can't believe that's already the second week of August.
Does anyone have a stop or pause button on Summer's speed?
Push one for me if you do, please.
Well the suns out and I'm kid less once again, thank you Papa!
So I think I'll so soak up some rays because the tan I'm sporting ain't
brown enough for me.
I'll add a song and a few shots of us from the show.
Thanks for reading what's on my mind and may this day be marvelous for you!

Reaching Roots......

That's what some of mine did two weeks ago today.
My Aunt, her Daughter and Granddaughter came from out West for a visit.
We had made plans in advance to gather at the house of our Cousin.
She has a large family and is always inviting and welcoming with everyone
so I think it was a marvelous choice for meeting up.
Everyone contributed to the delicious feast we all fed on.
There were so many good things to eat,  hamburgers, foot long hot dogs,
sausages, Greek pasta salads, nacho dip, fruit, veggies and perogies.
Any of you that know me well can guess what I brought to the party.

The day before our gathering the weather forecast called for rain but
once a few others and myself took to blowing the clouds away, sunny skies
prevailed and wonderful weather was ours for the whole day!
Our Cousin has a large trampoline that the children couldn't wait to use.
It seems that jumping on it wasn't going to be good enough for the kids though.
Before long they had water balloons and dish soap added for their
jumping, slip sliding fun.
It was sweet seeing all of the kids having a blast under the big bright ball in the sky.

This reunion of sorts was one for my Mom's side of the family.
I don't get to spend as much time with them as I do my Father's side of the family
and that's a shame because I love being around them.
Though I keep close contact with a few of my Cousins on that side, I don't often get
to visit or talk with my Aunts and Uncles.
It had been many moons since I last saw my Aunt and Cousin from out West and
it was the first time I met my Cousin's Daughter.
She is a bright, beautiful, lively girl and I'm so glad that I was able to finally meet her.
I think the most wonderful thing for me that day was seeing my Mother and
her Sisters embrace the Sister that came home for a visit.
When the oldest Sister held her in her arms and their eyes started leaking,
so did mine, actually mine were more like rivers running down my face.
It's amazing the power of the past and time away from loved ones has on
our hearts, isn't it?

My Mother and members in her family haven't always been as close as the branches
in my Dad's bunch but it's just as beautiful to see when they blossom together
like they did on July 20th of this year.
My Sister wasn't able to make the trip down and I'm sorry she couldn't be there
because she would have loved to visit with everyone again.
I feel blessed and lucky beyond to still have so many family members I love, alive
and well in life.
I hope we gather again soon because the years that past between visits was far
to many for this twig on the trees liking.

Our two Cousins and their Mother did all the dirty work in making this gathering
a great one and saying thanks just doesn't seem like enough.
I'm hoping that typing about them here will also help show my gratitude for their
never ending generosity and goodness.
I love em all so much and to be able to spend any length of time with them
always does my blood pumper proudly.
Thank you ladies, take a bow, you did dandily!

A daughter of my Cousin is thick and heavy into gymnastics and was happy
to show me her broken blister in the palm of her hand.
I was in awe of her grace and effortlessness in every step she took.
Graceful and good on my feet is something I have never been able to boast about.
Her Mother was witness to it many times.
Remember when I was running at the park with you, fell, sat on my own foot
and broke toes?
You gotta remember that one Moke.  :)

I was also very happy to see in person what a young male Cousin did with achieving
his goal of weight loss and healthier living, he looked amazing and the hard work
has sure paid off.
Way to go, Sir!
Though I thoroughly enjoyed seeing everyone I think talking with my
Cousin's Daughter touched my heart the most.
You see, she was born with Down Syndrome and I haven't seen her in years.
She is close in age to our oldest Son and I loved chatting with her about the
swim suit she had on, which I loved.
She also spoke of school and friends, was very positive, well worded and
excellent in expressing herself, I love that!
We are truly a blessed bunch and I pray we can make more marvelous memories
together in the very near future.
A Christmas in July get together for next year was mentioned and I'm surely
on board for that.
With no chance of snow, I'll be good to go!

Well things need tending to around here so I'll leave these lines with a couple of
pictures from our great get together.
Thanks for reading what's on my mind and I hope that you're well in this day.