Sunday 20 January 2019

The Greatest Gifts....

Hello again everyone!. Over a year since I last wrote here, how can that be?. Endless reasons why it happened but I'm just going to focus on the here and now. That has been something I have always struggled with but now I'm forced to do it daily, so for to save my sanity. Much has changed since I last graced this space. Where shall I begin?. I'll start with the title as that seems fitting. The greatest gifts, to me, are family, friends and The Big Guy's love. Those three things have kept me going, even though I frequently wanted to give up. I am able to once again blog because of the kindness and generosity of a very good friend. I won't name her because I haven't asked her permission. I will say that she has been a huge part of healing for me in the last year of my life. She is one of my biggest supporters and always speaks her mind and doesn't glaze anything, ever. Without speaking of the sourness that brought me to this point in my journey, I will let you all know that I am in my own place for the first time in my forty eight years of life. My Husband and I are living a part and I struggle with that but I'm grateful to have been given the opportunity and gifts handed to me. I'm always second guessing myself and never understand why others have the belief in me that I can't seem to see in my own self. However, I'm here and still trying so that is what matters, right?. To each and every one of you that have shown me kindness, I thank you!. Today has been a good day, actually, so have the last few and I am grateful for it!

Back to my family and friends.
I often wonder why no one ever gave up on me and why I refuse to give up on others, even when it sucks every ounce of my strength and sunshine. Do any of us realize the power we have in helping each other?. I think not. Otherwise, we would be doing more for others and less for ourselves. 2018 was a year of firsts for me. My first apartment, my first time doing things for myself and my first time being completely alone at Christmas!. Guess what?, I lived through it all!. I certainly didn't think I would. I have to tell you that crying alone when no one can hear you is way more dismal than doing it with others in the house. I'm glad I lived it though. Good, bad and even uncomfy experiences should not only be acknowledged but given their weight in worth. I understand that the three things I have given credit to, pave my way. Christmas alone was not enjoyable but necessary so others didn't get sick. I loathed being away from our Sons, my Sister and her family. Waaah was me but it most certainly wasn't the worst in life. Right now, where I live, snow and below temps surround us. I am not a fan. However, I am not homeless, hungry or cold. As far as I feel, those are some of the worst things in life that anyone can experience.

On that, I'll leave these lines and hope to have many more in the future. As always, thanks for reading what's been in my mind grounds and I hope you are all well and wonderful in this day.




1 comment:

  1. Keep amazing yourself! You never know what you are capable of until you go through it. xoxox I love you.

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