Saturday 13 September 2014

Just When I Thought......

Hello again! (waving)
Though I know it has been many months since I last left say so's here, nearly six! and I really believed that I was done with the blog/writing bug. I guess there's still something left in me to say. Where do I start?. So much has happened since I last laid lines in this cyberspace. Our oldest Son has flown our chicken coop and left the nest we've made for him over the last eighteen years. Surely I could see the sadness headed straight at me, right?. I knew it would be troubling but I had not the first clue on just how hard the aftermath would be to handle. Just when I thought it would get easier not having to straighten out strife between our boys, life showed me it can always get worse.....ALWAYS! (I'll get to that in a bit). Liam's graduation was a great success on his part and he worked so hard to strive for grades we could all praise him over. He even earned a gold rope which is given to students who excel with more than an 80% average. Peacock proud and pleased are we!. Then there was the graduation party that we held for he and my Nephew who graduated from grade 8 and was the Valedictorian of his class. Dang, I should back up a bit. Right before Liam's ceremony was my Nephew's ceremony. My youngest Son, Aidn and I were invited to join my Mother and Step-Father at my Sister and Hubby Bub's house for a couple days. How happy I was to help celebrate his achievements. As always, there were many people staying at my Sister's house, her Husband's Mom and Dad were there and it was wonderful to spend time with them. We had not seen them since my Sister married their Son. A highlight for me was being able to sleep out on the front porch for not one but two nights!. Of course seeing my Nephew give his speech was also grand, sleeping outside is a favourite thing in life for me.

Okay, onto the part-eh!...hehe, a little Canadian humour. It was held on Sat June 28th and warm doesn't begin to describe the weather. I am NOT complaining. How I wish this Summer would have had more of those humid days. We invited around 50 people and I think that's about how many joined us in the celebration. It was wonderful, truly terrific!. I'd like to thank everyone again for being so generous with their time, money and travel expenses to be with us. Julie, I and all our children wouldn't have been able to do it without every one of you!. My Sis sure did pick a nice place to have the party, outside at a local park with a pool on the property. The food was fantastic and I'm glad we had enough ice to keep everything cool. It wasn't fine dinning but it sure was delicious!. Hot Dogs, hamburgers, assorted salads, loads of beverages and a kahton of cake!. One of the best things about that day was seeing so many people from my Hubby's side of the family. Aunts, Uncles and Cousins came together and surprised us completely. My Hubby Bub's Mother and two of his Sisters made the trip down from six and eleven hours away. I wish they could have stayed for a few days but could only be here for the one afternoon. I couldn't imagine making such a long trip with having so little time to enjoy it, grateful I am that they were here for us. After the party we had an after party at my Cousin's house. On the spur of the moment Marty and Shonna opened their home and perfectly pleasing pool to us. What a way to spend the remaining hours in that day!. I can't tell you how happy it makes me seeing all of our children playing and enjoying each others company. That's how we were raised and my blood pumper pounds proudly seeing the tradition continue on. The most comical moment had to be when we were all waiting for Julie to arrive. Every single one of the kids helped fill water balloons to wield at her upon her arrival. Such a shame it was to see her soaked again after just drying off from the last water balloon belting....hehehe, poking fun at my Sis never gets old!. Julie being the wonderful sport she is laughed and chased the little ones who were first in line to wet her. Another belly buster was when Cousin Colin shoved sticks in his older Brother Brandon's shoes while he swam in the pool, hahaha man I love my family! Thank you all for such wonderful memories they were some of my sweetest this Summer!

For the love of lines I'm not going to be able to tell you about everything so I'll shorten my say so's a wee bit. Since March we have had two graduations, two deaths in the family and one new life born just recently. There was a welcome home BBQ for one of my Aunt's that came from out West and several sunny sweet moments that still make me smile when swimming in the think tank. I'd be lying though if I said its been all sun and rainbows. It hasn't, not by a long shot!. Honestly, this past week was particularly problematic for me. No, those aren't the right words. Down right depressing are the fitting ones for my feelings. I won't go into details about it because it is in the past now and at this moment, I am only here, in the NOW!. I will say that several souls are why I can set my sights on sunnier skies today. Another thing I want to mention is how The Big Guy came through for me, by way of others. He always does, even when I'm feeling unworthy of anything. Thanks I owe you everything!. On to thanking the ones who helped me out of my me heaps. Julie, Shonna, Marty, Aunt Pam, Uncle Mike, Billy, Liam, Lisa, Darlene and Aidn. I'm ever grateful for everything you have done for us.
I haven't even typed about the three mini vacations we shared at our Aunt and Uncle's, one of my best friend's 50th birthday party, visits with many I love, Aidn and I's terrific time at Peche Island and how it's all flown by in what feels like a week. Maybe I'll get back to being more frequent here and tell you all about it soon. Until then, thanks for reading what's in the Mind Grounds and I hope you're in as good of a way as I am today!. Of course I'll add a few photos folks! :)









Monday 31 March 2014

The Winds Of Change.....

Hello again everyone! (waving)
The winds of change have been chanting around me for some time now but I haven't tried to silence it's squall. Today is my Father's seventy-first birthday and the mind grounds are full of marvelous memories I made with him. Since his death over eight years ago, so much has changed. A few marriages and new faces have been added to our flock of families. Oh how happy the addition of little ones would have made my Dad, he loved being around kids. Though I still miss his mug daily and often long for his encouragement, love and support, life does go on and the pain isn't as present . Every time I share a memory of him with someone he is there. When any of us do something he loved or open our hearts to another, I can almost feel his pride. Today I am focusing on the fine even though I'm fearful of the future. In the next few months we will have to wish our oldest Son well as he graduates high school and moves north of where we are. I feel ill when I think of it to long so I won't type much about that. Our youngest will be twelve soon and my health is well so I have been looking for work. With the boys growing up and able to do much of what I use to for them I have been feeling a bit useless around here. I have been a stay at home Mom for most of the last eighteen years and I feel it's time for me to financially contribute to my family once again. I miss working and want to be doing something more than the things I do around here. There are a couple problems with my plan. I am forty-three and uneducated. Maybe that will be overlooked considering the employment avenue I want into only involves cleaning or doing dishes. We shall see.

In the last few weeks things have been pretty good around here. I really can't utter an awful word about anything. The best news I have to share is that my good friend Chrissy made it through a very serious surgery. A bit deflated I felt when a few folks said to be realistic and not get so full of hope. It didn't deter my faith one bit. This lady has more life and love of it in any ounce of a day than most folks I know have in a lifetime. The Big Guy is great and I will proudly state that whenever I feel the need to, like now!. I spent much of last week making perogies for many people and it was wonderful to give some away to friends that stopped in for a visit with gifts for me and loved ones. A dear friend from high school came by and we shared smiles, laughter and concern for each other over coffee. She generously gave me gifts from a trip to Cuba that she and her Husband recently went on. With that she also gave us some homemade wine they make. The following day my Cousin, another fine friend came by with more wine that her Father made. I felt so honored to be given this gift because he made it acting on thoughts of my dearly departed Daddy and the wine he and his Father use to make. Visiting with two people I love two days in a row was wonderful and I am still feeling the sweetness from it a few days later. Thank you ladies and Uncle Timmy!

Earlier this month my Mother-In-Law was down visiting her Sister who just lost her Husband. Cookie/Spun lives several hours away and does not drive but she dropped everything in her life to come and comfort her Sister. That says so much about the person she is and the love she has for others. I have personally witnessed it as well, most recently June of 2011. I had surgery and she came to help her Son and I in our daily lives with kids. I didn't get to see Aunt Jo after the funeral but she sure has been in my thoughts and prayers since then and I hope Cookie was able to comfort her. It makes me feel good to think about the love Sisters can have for each other. I bet you think I'm going somewhere with this, right?, well yes I am. Today I am having many thoughts of my own Sister. Some sunny others stormy, well maybe not stormy but one went well with the other, sorry. Anywords....for March Break this year Julie generously invited us to join her for a few days at Kalahari. To those of you who have never heard of this place let me describe it to you in a single sentence. "Jungle themed water wonderfulness in the hugest hotel I have ever seen", what a fantastic place for families and most of us had a terrific time. I won't name call or mention it further but for once it wasn't me being the wet blanket. There was one water ride called The Swahili Swirl and that was my favorite followed by The Zip Coaster, though my back is still tender to touch from that one. Sitting with my Sis in the hot tub, watching the kids surf on The Flow Rider, playing cards together, enjoying meals with each other were all of the finest things for me. Back to the title of this entry. After our trip ended my Sister had words with me that still have us in a stalemate state. We aren't arguing or being ugly to each other but we are in an uncomfortable place. Without going into detail I will say that it is me who needs to change. I owe so many at least that, making an effort to become a better person so that everyone I love will benefit from it. Although, I wish she would have just smacked me upside my head for forgetting my passport and wallet back at the hotel when we were halfway home. That would have been less scary than the future for me.

Yup, I'm leaving it in deep thoughts today folks. It will motivate me to make improvements in all my awfulness. Thanks for reading what's in the mind grounds and may you soon feel the sun on your face as I do today!






Saturday 22 February 2014

Personal Pleasures, Private Pain.....

Hello again everyone! (waving)
It's been awhile since I last shared say so's here but today is as good as any to offer up another entry. Since my Memeness passed away in December, Winter seems to be much longer and gloomier than I ever remember it being. This of course has not helped me maintain a marvelous mood daily, being the Summer Sucker that I am. It has given me loads of time to think about the pleasures and pain that we all have. Though I haven't blogged lately, I've been making mental notes in my noggin about everything I want to share with you. I will start with some of my personal pleasures. No worries folks this won't be a blog about those kind of personal pleasures (the Scorpio readers know what I'm talking about here). I think music is pretty high on my list though spending time with people I care about is even more enjoyable. Putting the two together while outdoors on a hot Summer day can only be topped by enjoying it in the evening. Then of course there is laughter!, what beats laughter for me?...hmmmm...LOVE!, yup, that one thing we all need and some of us can never get enough of (raising hand). I am a lucky lady to have so many people in my life that exchange love with me. Often when in a bad way I don't recognize it or even feel like I deserve love but that isn't the case today. It's all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows around the mind grounds and I am going to put it to good use. The start of Summer for me is in 83 days and I can't wait!. Thoughts of sitting in the sun, barbecuing, moon bathing, getting my mermaid on and tent sleeps under the stars, oh boy!, bring it on!. All of those things will be extra enjoyed because I will be doing them with loved ones.

As some of you may have read from my facebook wall, I have been sharing a friends blog entries. Much of my mind grounds have been filled with thoughts of her. She has plenty of private pain but isn't laying around whining about it like a certain person typing this would be. She is a problem solver not shoveler. I feel inspired by many in my life but this lady has whacked me upside of my head with her wit and wonderful ways. With every entry she adds there is something special for my noggin to gnaw on, sometimes I laugh, lots of times my eyes leak but always, I FEEL and that can often give me the pick me up I need to move on. Did I mention I fall a lot?, emotionally speaking of course, oh wait, when I think of it, frequently I trip on air also...hehe. As I was saying, inspiration is something we all need, some more than others (raising hand again). When I am deep in a pitted private pain it's hard for me to just shake it off and see the sweetness that surrounds me. Nothing good ever comes from those times but I am determined to get back into the beauty of things in a quicker way maybe instantly someday. As I type these lines I wonder what some of your personal pleasures and private pains are?. Would you or have you shared them with another soul?. My biggest private pain would have to be the self loathing I experience when in a bad way. It's been a life long struggle that I hope to overcome one day. Even on good days like today I can't think of five things I love about myself but there is one thing I always know...I have a huge heart that never stops caring for others. I got one, gimme a break!, I'll get there. Ask me to list the things I can't stand in myself and three instantly come to mind. 1. I cuss 2. I cry constantly 3. I complain, not usually in a public way but the house dwellers hear it and that makes me want to pound myself. I am not going to focus on the downside today though, like I said previously, sunshine, lollipops and rainbows for everyone today, even one for me!

I guess this blog today was just to let everyone know that I'm doing okay and in a very well way. I am glad that I didn't offer up an entry like I thought to a few times, no one would have ever wanted to read from me again. I am looking forward to a few things in the coming weeks. Tomorrow I've made plans with my above mentioned friend and my Godmother. I love spending time with both these ladies. I feel renewed and refreshed after being with either of them, time with the two of em together is better than icing on any cake!. Summer will soon be here and it's looking like it will be another one filled with lots of visits everywhere. One of my finest friends turns fifty in April and get together is being planned. There will be many members from my family there that I don't often see so I'm pretty excited for it. Our oldest Son leaves the nest in June and is headed for college and though I am happy he is going to go further with his education than his Father or I have. Angst and agony I have over it all. I can't tell you how much I am gonna miss my Goose. Okay, I must stop typing about this now as visions of days past and him puking all over everyone and everything have my eyes leaking for yesteryear. I can't believe I am missing that part of our lives right now....man am I a sap, for sure!

Well that's about all I have for now but thanks for reading what's in the mind grounds and if you get a chance, please give a look read to the fine female I spoke of above.
Here's a link to her blog http://christineisjustsaying.blogspot.ca/2014/02/day-25-that-all-depends.html



     

Friday 17 January 2014

I Never Thought.....

I never thought that I would live to see forty-three. I never thought I would be married for so many years, twenty-one to be exact. I never thought I would be blessed with two beautiful boys. I never thought I would out live my Father, his Brother and their Mother. But I have.

These are thoughts that have been trickling through the think tank today. I know it's been another long while since my last entry and the only excuse I have is that I just didn't have a desire to write one. Remember how I've mentioned that Winter makes me miserable and that I tend to hibernate and hide away once the cold comes calling?, well it's all true!. For now I am back and anxious to empty the mind grounds. On December 30th 2013 the head of my family passed away peacefully with some of us flocked at her side. She suffered for many years having two broken hips, cancer and no use of her legs.It was a welcome passing. For nine and a half years she lived in a nursing home. Thankfully it was a wonderful one and the staff treated her with such kindness and caring. My Grandmother, Memeness as I called her, was a strong willed, very family oriented female. Always wanting to know where each of her chickens were and what they were doing. She was happiest when we were all together with her at the helm, cooking, caring and cleaning for each of us.She had a pleasing pride about her and was not what you'd call a "peacekeeper" but she instilled that in her children and some of her Grandchildren. Louise lost her Father to tuberculosis at the tender age of eight and helped her Mother care for her siblings. They were five in total and from the stories I am told, she locked horns with her Mother as I did with her. In June of 1942 she married the man she loved and their family started with my Father being born the following year in March. They went on to have three more children but Eugene (Pepe) lived a short life and passed away in 1976 when their youngest was only fourteen. From then on she would be the soul shoulder we would all lean on.

My parents divorced when my Sister and I were just wee ones and she happily took on the role of raising us both. Almost from my earliest memory, I gave Meme grief on most everything. Never did I just listen and behave as I should, always trying to edge every angle she came at me with. Though we had a wonderful childhood, that's not how I would have described it at that time. Thinking back to when I would make her mad still has me amazed that I hold all my own teeth in my mouth. Boy did we argue!..hehe. My Sister on the other hand was an easy going, bubbly, happy little girl and never cared for the likes of confrontation, she still doesn't. I am grateful we were so different, it just might be the one thing that saved my backside. Meme was always doing something as I recall and it was usually being done for someone else. To this day her baking is the best I have ever experienced and was matched by no one. She died undefeated in so many ways. Some of my best memories were of our whole family together for Summer tent sleeps under the stars. May 2-4 weekend and then Labour Day bbq with a television being brought out to the back alley for everyone to watch the Jerry Lewis telethon. Those were indeed special times and sparks marvelous memories within me. We didn't have twenty-four hour a day kid channels or even one channel that you could watch kids shows on daily. We got our cartoon fix on Saturday and Sunday mornings. When family weekends came around though, none of us cared about watching T.V, all we wanted to do was play, eat junk food and stay up late with the elders in the family. Getting to sleep in tents with our Cousins was always a welcome treat. Meme would spend most of the time preparing piles of food and would only come join us by the fire briefly when all the work was done. As one woman she could do more than ten I know now. I never thought I would have such love, respect and gratitude for the woman that raised me but I sure do. Did I mention the neighbourhood fireworks display her and the family next door would hold?. Spectacular it was!. Every year of our childhood Meme and the contributing neighbours would buy what seemed like a field of fireworks and invite anyone that wanted to attend. She would spend hours preparing goodies and a huge garbage bag filled with popcorn to share with everyone present. At one of those fireworks displays, I received my first kiss and was only twelve. The sky wasn't the only thing lit up that night, think I walked on clouds for a week after that. Other occasions also bring back beautiful memories. Boating over to Peche Island is one. Meme would pack up coolers of food and away we'd go to spend the day splashing, fishing and pretending. On the island was an old house foundation left standing, we imagined it was our home and we would play house for hours with our Cousins. If I am certain of nothing in life, there is one thing I am sure of. My love for sleeping outdoors and swimming, stem directly from those marvelous memories of days gone by.

Though Meme wasn't the one who gave birth to me. She is the one who had the biggest hand in raising me and I will always be grateful for what her and our Father taught us. We had a good balance of ease and friction in our early years. Meme was stern and ran a tight ship, while Daddy was softer sided and always swabbed the decks for us...haha!. If the Big Guy allows it, I will always have these magnificent memories to look back on and share with everyone. Last time I checked, I still have all my marbles intact even if they are a bit mixed up. In ending this entry I would just like to say, never say NEVER because what will be we can't have control over. The biggest lesson I still learn from Memeness was one of forgiveness. I found it with her many years ago and try to teach my children how important it is to have that with others. We all screw up and need forgiveness for each other to remain content with ourselves. Nothing good ever comes from negativity!!. Okay well those are enough words of wisdom from me, for now. Thanks for reading what's in the mind grounds and may this day find you in a well way.