Ripped A New One.....

Hello again everyone! (waving)

I hope you are doing dandy in this day. As for me, today hasn't been terrific. Boy could I spit sours about it right now but it wouldn't help me, you or the hobo in the hood....lol Instead I am going to focus on the fine in this day. I am able to be in the nest and not at work, I have accomplished to and from the bathroom, on my own and hopefully make a simple dinner of spaghetti and tomato juice for the three of us. Today was filled with sunshine and blue skies outside my bedroom window but that is the only way I could enjoy it....from my bed. Hmmmm, this may be tougher than I thought. My mind is always racing and I'm constantly trying to reel it in and rationalize every part. In 51 years, I've yet to succeed. So here I sit, same decision, different day. I'm feeling pretty determined so I'll type on. Thinking of all the great in this, the 14th day of May and one of my favourite, younger females is in my mind. My cousin's daughter. One of the kids I've watched for years but now I am not needed any longer and that's ok, life changes for us all, as do our needs. I am so happy for my cousin and for the said female. Life is more lovely for them in the last year and a half. You know what?, I'm grateful. For the years I had watching her for a few hours, over night or a week at a time while her dad was away. Oh the marvelous memories stored away and hopes she will retain the same. I will see her soon. There is a family gathering planned for the end of July, by her aunt and I will be there waiting to play in the pool with her. You see, this little lady is mermaildy like me! Today she turns eleven and though I've tried a few ways, I have yet to wish her a happy birthday and tell her how much I love and miss her. I'm certain she is having a dandy day! That is what matters most.

Well that was wonderful, so I'll continue on. A friend of mine had surgery this week and isn't doing well. She is someone I admire and adore. She is a mother, a wife and soon to be grandmother, she is indeed an all around warrior. What she deals with everyday since we met, I never could. My friend has MS and if only that could be her one hurdle in life, she also has two children, one 17 and one 19. The younger one is pregnant. Did I mention her husband was in an awful accident a few years ago and he is also in a wheelchair and not mobile? these folks DO, every day. Again, I am grateful. However, I am also feeling sorry for myself. Please go look elsewhere if you don't like it.....lol I have been spending most days in profuse pain, I work through it, some days better than others....nothing new there...lol  It has been the worst physical awful that I have ever endured, for months. It is literally a pain in my backside. I told you to look elsewhere.....lol Back in December 2021 I formed a thrombosed hemorrhoid. After a couple weeks of suffering I couldn't stand anymore and ended up in the emergency room. Four and a half hours I couldn't stand sitting, standing, walking, and crying. I figured I would fair better at home in bed so my husband came back and got me. Fast forward to the end of February and it finally was removed late in the month. That gave me some relief but not completely and not for long, at all....*sigh* Now here we are in May, a colonoscopy later and three more appointments with my surgeon, still suffering but at least I have been able to work. Currently I am on a pain medicine, three creams and watching what I eat with eagle eyes. Now I have a fissure, same pain but now internal, no fun at all! If you had never endured this pain, let me describe it for you. It feels like a sharp piece of glass or a single razor blade just stabbing all over in one area. That is honestly the best way I can explain it. I continue to focus on the many folks I love who sufferer more, daily and probably will for the rest of their lives.

So in the here and now.......I am just finishing this blog up, days after I intended to. What's that saying about the road to hell being paved with good intentions?...lol I am having a decent day and I did end up talking to that 11 year old I love.....on her birthday! Also, I went swimming with her the day after her birthday annnnd it was my first time in the water for this season. On Sunday my nephew turned 22 and found the time to take a few minutes and talk to his old aunt. He sounded well and wonderful in his life, he recently moved to Ottawa Ontario and loves the big city! He is a smart, social, kind and generous man, peacock proud I am of his efforts. With that said, I will say see you in cyberspace soon! I'm making hot roast beef sandwiches, mashed potatoes and corn, so off I go! As always, thanks for reading what's been in my mind grounds and I hope you enjoy the remainder of this day folks!