Turtle Trot.....(started in April and finished in May)

Hello and I hope all eyes here are well!

What a dandious day it is here and I am currently making biscuits 

and gravy for our dinner. 

Last weekend our oldest son came home for Easter and one of his requests for me

was to make this meal. I failed then because I was sick with the flu all weekend.

He didn't give me any grief and as always, was empathetic and at the ready to 

offer his efforts for anything I needed. I'm so peacock proud of him! 

I can't type out terrific without offering praise to our youngest son. 

He has been off work almost completely since before Christmas. 

He works in the kitchen of a restaurant that harbours a marina, seasonal work.

The upside is he makes less money than I do but works six-seven days a week 

once the lovely weather winds up and the boats start being launched.

This year was the first time he filed income tax and that go go soul got a bigger

rebate than his old mom. Also for our youngest I am praying.

You see, in the last 3 years he has had an E-bike, battery for said bike 

and a motorized bicycle he built, stolen. all from different places. 

It still sends me sad and mad. He is a very hard worker outside of around 

here.....hahaha. I have strong say so's on the subject of stealing and 

simply said, it peeves me plenty! 

He went and spent his refund on a new E-bike for himself......(it worries me) 

I love seeing anyone happy but I'm sure all of you can relate, seeing our closest 

loved ones, happy.....is gravy in the boat of life!

Okay on to the tortoise of my title.....

Like everyone else, I struggle with stuff. 

The worst of it is always inside the think tank, the mind grounds. 

Often my mistakes are present in daily moments.

I think anyone who wants to improve does. 

Unfortunately, that's where the demons are. If any eyes here claim to have no 

closet monsters, I want to know if you're having a good time or a hard time?

We all have em. I wonder with every soul I meet, do you deal with em and how?

On April 13th 2022 the planet we are all playing on, lost the most 

awesomness angel. This soul was of the wonderful, that some never see. 

I feel honoured to have spent time with her, always laughter, mostly at herself.

However, that is one area I am proud to say, I could hold the ring with her and 

win wordly. Rah-Rah!

This is painful but well worth my wee effort. 

Her name is Chrissy. She was and I'm certain, will go on to be, an absolute angel. 

I could honestly go on for hours about everything she was.

The first close communication we had was after a social media post I made on the

state I was in, mentally. I'm going to whip through this because it wasn't all

wonderful. She reached out to me and truly gave my the kick in the backside 

I needed to start making different choices in my life.

One of my favourite memories of her came about while she was very sick 

and weak but on the mend and pushing herself, she looked smart and sharp in the 

outfit she wore. After all, she was both of those things.

I was dressed in bland yet comfy clothing. It kinda peeved her plenty. She started

to tell me how she wished she could walk around in public wearing pajamas

like many do these days. I asked why she didn't and she replied that she just 

couldn't bring herself to. I laughed at her saying that she should be comfy 

and not care about what she looked like. Then without hesitation and being 

dead serious, she said "I want you and anyone else to dress down and wear pajamas at my funeral!"

I laughed and said that even though I could wear pj's or a swimsuit anywhere, that

is the one place I couldn't. I sure did though and you know what? I didn't even give

one little lick as to what anyone there thought of me. It wasn't at the funeral though

because I had to work but instead for the visitation at the funeral home, I hope

she still counts it as me honouring her request. 

For more than 20 years she battled a couple different kinds of cancer and constant 

health heaps. she fought long, hard and always with love and laughter for others.

She did beat the cancer and was able to even start her own high end consignment 

shop that did well. Sadly she recently suffered from vertigo and took a fall. 

She broke her hip and from what I've been told, passed due to complications 

from that. 

How can it be that one soul fights for so long, so hard, all the time helping others, 

and be taken out by a broken hip at 51 years old? It enrages me!!! 

Any of you that know me personally, know that I am a firm believer in The Big Guy,

The Little Guy and The Ghost Guy and I never question them. 

However, questioning is all I have been able to do for almost a month now. 

It has got me nowhere. 

So for the 5th time I am trying to finish this entry and you mark 

my words here, damn I will!

 

Chrissy is my husbands first Cousin and she was only one month and 

seven days younger than myself. Seeing her closest loved ones at the funeral home was hard. 

Especially her husband of 30 years. He was nearly unrecognizable and it broke 

my blood pumper to see him in that state. 

The one thing I know from this loss is that we are here for to help 

each other, not to help ourselves. I know from my own life lessons that when I do 

for others I am never left wanting for anything. 

With that, I will bid you all bye-bye for now as my backside needs to get mobile.

I am making and delivering homemade lasanga to many other Mother's I love

tomorrow  and I have 5 to make. Thanks for reading what's in my mind grounds 

and may this day find you happy and well.