What's wrong with her?, may be what you're inquiring mind is curious about. I'm frustrated and fueling the fire by beating myself blue with expectations that haven't delivered delight, to me. Haha, did you understand that?. I should go further into detail, shouldn't I?. Yes, I should but I'll keep the heart of it silent because of respect I have for those involved with my agony. Besides, I told you this was going to be about me and for the love of life!, it will be. All that really matters in the miff of it is that I'm harboring hurt handed to me through the hands of ones I care for. Sometimes I really struggle with the actions of others, it stings more when they don't care to make any effort over what I've asked from them. I continually tell myself "you can't change anyone or make them conform to your commands". It's never that I can't make someone do what I want, that bothers me, it's always the "why don't they want to do it for me" part that puts me in peril. From the moment I know my request is relinquished, my insides ignite the engine for internal agony to begin. I blame and belittle myself for what they've failed to finish. Not even considering why they may not be comfortable in the request. Instantly I tell myself how if I was better in this or that way, they would want to give me what I want. Looks a bit childish doesn't it?. I'm well aware of that, thank you.
Anyway, I know how hanging on to the hurt from it, can only hinder my happiness so I'll make external efforts to turn it around. There have been many marvelous moments since I last typed here, I'll tell you about some of them. My Cousin who will be wed in a couple weeks had her bachelorette party recently and I was pleased to be part of it. Thirteen of us gathered for dinner and then an evening of hen pecking and happiness. My Sister is the Maid Of Honor and made sure that we all had a good time. Our Aunt also helped out and we all enjoyed their efforts. The restaurant chosen by the Bride To Be was one I had never dined at before. It was a delicious meal and everyone echoed of the edible excellence. Once at our next destination, the hotel at the casino, we watched as our Cousin opened all of her gifts. Seeing her smiles and laughter that night was a present that each of us would leave the next day with. We then played a few games and had fun right up to the wee hours of Sunday morning. I took a few pictures but failed to remember snapping more shots as the night went on. Everyone had sorted out sitters for their children and the whole lot of us were spread through every space of the two room suite. I wish we could all gather like that every few months, it's always so much fun spending a night with fine females. The blushing bride seemed to really enjoy herself and it was great to see her step away from the stress of the coming big day, for the time we were there. We were even able to get our mermaid on!. After we swam and swapped stories of our lives, back to the hotel room we went for more girly giggling. I was often seen leaving as we were right across the street from the Detroit River and I love the night view of the city, I'm also a smoker; that's probably the more truthful reason. It had been a beautiful day for us and the weather outside was wonderful and welcoming after a long drawn out Winter. I could almost taste Summer in the air and was pleased when the warmth came to us in the coming week. A couple others joined me on a few visits to the water and it was nice to spend time with ladies I don't always see. The night ended when only two of us were left with eyes open. As her and I sat outside thinking of how nice it would be to go back and restart the night, I was filled with fineness of the day. How lucky I was to have a loving family that enjoys spending time together. It was a perfect day and I pray that my Cousins coming wedding will be the same.
Well I'm glad to say that I've failed here, failed in keeping this blog entry all about me. I love when I'm able to fail in this way and I've made myself feel better because of it. No one wants to read or hear about someone whining and that's where my words would have went, had I wallowed in it. Besides, I rather enjoy beaming about others and think we should all spend more time doing just that. If you were able to read this far, thank you!. I may type my blog for me but I always appreciate any eyes caring to see what I have to say. Included are two pictures from the party and a song that's serving me sweetly today. Thanks for reading what's in the mind grounds and may this Monday be the start of a wonderful week for us all!
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