Sleeping Sadness.....

Thanks to a family member that's what mines doing right now.
You see for the last couple days I have been filled with sadness
over the poor choices I've made in life and how they have had
a negative impact on the lives of my children.
Never is it easy to admit to anyone when we've failed but for me
the worst part is the ongoing crucifixion I nail myself with over such mistakes.
Like most mornings I fought to leave my warm nest and made my
way upstairs to start the day.
Got the kids up, fed and ready for school then landed my large load
in front of the computer with my coffee in hand to do some reading.
Waiting for me was a message from my Cousin.
I'll keep our conversation private but I will let you know that she sure
lifted my deflated spirits.
I never would have guessed that she felt such sweetness towards me
but what a nice surprise it was to read her words.

I was instantly brought back to the last time we all spent with her Father (My Uncle).
We gathered at his bedside and reminisced about his life how many wonderful
memories we all made with him.
At one point it was just his Daughter and I in the room with him and we
were playing music that he loved.
Laughing and smiling over his silliness when past family vacation songs played.
You see, my Uncle was usually the one who picked out our family vacation songs.
The ones that come to mind the quickest are always the quirkiest ones.
Songs like The Battle Of New Orleans, and The Skippy peanut butter song.
Yes we are an odd bunch but we laugh lots, loudly and long!
Anyway, my Cousin asked if I would like to hear the song she had hoped to
dance to with her Father on her wedding day.
Of course I was interested in hearing it, even more so because we both knew
he wouldn't be able to do that for her now.

Give me a minute here folks, the tears are flowing......
Man if I had a penny for every time my eyes leaked I would be the richest
woman in the world.
Just thinking of the words in that song and how much she wanted her Father
to see her married, makes my insides turn to mush.
Remembering the dance I had with my Father and knowing she
won't get that part of her dream just tears me up.
I've said it before and I'll state it here again It's Not Fair!
If any of you reading are the kind that talk to the Big Guy
In The Sky, please say a prayer for my Cousin, she is in need of some
happiness and less hardship.

Well much do I have to do today, may even get motivated enough
to make the perogies I have been putting off.
I'll leave these lines with the song she played for me, get your Kleenex
ready if you're anything like me.
Thank you for reading what's on my mind and may the remainder of this
day find you well and wonderful in your own ways!