The Mighty Woeful Wind.....

Well it sure has been mighty around here lately.
Thought our house was gonna go wizard of oz like last night.
Maybe it will help blow away all the gloom I've been feeling the last few days.
This week wasn't wonderful and I'm still not back to a sunnier self just yet.
Many reasons are why it's so.
Probably the most prominent being the lives that have been taken lately.
When folks I know pass I always feel like they didn't deserve it and I should be in
their place. I never feel deserving of anything, least of all life.
Now don't any of you reading be going all sappy and sad for me, this poo will pass.
It's feelings and they flow through me more than the blood in my veins some days.
I wanted to add a blog entry a couple of other times this week but was waiting for my
miserable mood to pass.
It hasn't as of yet and I felt like I needed to release a bit so for to help me get
a handle on everything I have been thinking about.

One of the biggest blunders of mine is that at times I compare myself
to others I know.
I see everyone in a much better light than I do myself and it makes me mad
because everything in me knows that it's wrong to think like that, yet I
constantly do it when I'm in a woeful way.
Right now as I type these lines a friend of mine has been in the hospital for almost
two weeks and has been in and out of there for months with health issues that
have went unsolved.
A family member who has struggled with Cancer for eight years is awaiting
surgery for new, serious health scares.
I know that I am not living my life to it's full potential and I'm not sure if it's
laziness, fear or lack of confidence that stops me from changing it.
I know what wars within myself need to be won but I haven't fought them yet
and I'm not certain that I ever will.
Those who know me well are aware of my struggles and have confronted
me about them.
I think of those people often when feeling like this and know that I am letting
them down as well as myself.
I get caught up in my failures and how I don't do right by my loved ones.
It starts a slew of sadness in me and is hard to shake sometimes.

Well I do have some work to do around here and I am looking forward to my
Husband coming home, it was an ugly night of last and I have some
apologizing to do.
I'll leave these lines with a song that came to mind while I was typing this entry out.
I hope this day finds you in a better way than myself and that well health is yours.
As always, thanks for reading what's on my mind.