Here But Not All There......

That's how I'm feeling today.
Actually I'm sad, angry and mixed up in my mind grounds.
Usually I enjoy the time I have to myself and the kids behave when
my Hubby Bub is gone hunting but this year has been all kinds of
back asswards with everything around here.

I know this will pass and I gather that I'm just wasting time until it does.
Typing my thoughts here has seemed to help me get a handle on what's
been bothering me so I'm gonna do my best to decipher the dung that's
dragging me down.
From the time I was a little girl it's been hard for me to get up and move
on in a positive way when I feel weighed down with worries.
Often it's made worse by my constant need to clobber myself over mistakes
made instead of correcting them.
There are times when I think I find comfort in crucifying myself.
Craziness, I know, yet I still struggle with it.
Today I am making dinner for some good friends of mine and we will watch a movie
later on, the boys are gone to my Moms and if they behave they will be spending
the night there..

Yesterday I intended to lay an entry here but my mood was far to foul for that.
I'm glad I waited until today to type out some thoughts, I'm not back to good
just yet but soon I will be.
Music plays as I type and thoughts of others who are suffering help to
keep me grounded.
So before I go bash happy with the bad in me, I will say thanks to the big guy
for giving me the gift of another day and do my best to not fumble it up.
On an unrelated note here is what just came on my play list and I'm laughing
at it though still singing along.
Seems like a century has passed since the 80's!
Thanks for reading folks, even though I haven't said much it has me feeling better.