I'm not telling anyone what to do but those sure are wonderful words to live
by, aren't they?
They just so happen to be lyrics and the song title to one of my favorites from
REO Speedwagon.
Today I'm in a well way and figured it was about time for another entry.
I was hoping to be out and about in this day by now but things change
and here I sit, sliding sentences for all to see.
I'm trying to remain optimistic even though Winter is right around the corner
and Fall's frigid fingers have had me freezing my fandango off more than
once so far.
After Winter, Fall is my least favorite season.
Everything outside dies and makes way for Winter's return, Brrrrr!, the thought
of that season sends icicles down my spine!
Not wanting to think about that anymore I'll change lanes in lines here and
tell you of some more soothing things for me.
Hockey season is upon us and by the looks of things in the NHL, our Son's
Atom league might be the only stick handling we see.
He's only been in a few weeks now but he sure is loving it!
I can't express the joy it brings me when I see any of my pack-of-penises
take part and pleasure in something they love.
Yes, that includes my Husband's excitement for his upcoming deer hunting trip.
I do complain about it on occasion but it really does me dandily to see
how much he dives into it.
Our oldest is leaving this weekend with my Mom to help out my Sis and as
always, he is beyond excited.
In just over a month it will be my 42nd big day and though I have not the first clue
on how I will be celebrating it, I'll be happy if I get to it, alive and well like today.
I'm gonna leave this one short and sweet because there are a few things I need
to tend to around here but I'll add the song that inspires my mood and today's entry.
Thank you for reading what's on my mind grounds and I hope this day is a good one for you!
Socks or no socks?, that is the question.
Well at the moment it is and to wear socks, won.
Though it's been cooler for the last couple weeks, I haven't needed to sport socks.
The day started as most others around here with one new thing I noticed.
Nippely air surrounded the nest I was so nice and warm in.
Though I wanted nothing more than to linger on in sweet slumber, the island
sound of the song "Jump Right In" rang from the alarm.
Time to wake up and I was ever anxious to dive into the day.
I've been spending some time with a wonderful woman and today
we planned on enjoying each others company once again.
Once I made breakfast for the boys and sent them off to school, I landed
my large load in front of the computer to listen to music and read.
I was ready to leave at 8:30 am and was looking forward to the laughter
and long talks we always seem to share.
Things don't always go as planned and today was no exception.
You see, my friend is fighting a field full of huge health hardships and she
sent me an e-mail early this morning, letting me know she wouldn't be
able to make it.
Her leg was sore and she wouldn't be doing much in this day.
My heart sunk knowing she was still in pain.
Yesterday it was really giving her grief and I prayed that her pain would ease or pass.
For the past eight years this fine, funny, female has been battling pancreatic cancer.
Yup, probably the one folks fear most.
My mind races thinking of how hard most days must be for her and others
that struggle on in sickness.
Diabetes, heart problems and a host of other health heaps, weigh down
her every day.
Still, she smiles, jokes and lives on in the most gracious, generous and compassionate ways.
I'm not gonna spend another single second typing about the disease
that does it's best to keep her down.
No way on my "Hell No!" highway will I give that more energy than what
it's taken from her.
Instead, I will make mention of all the wonderfulness that is this woman I speak of.
Where should I start?
I'll tell you about the first time I remember meeting my friend who
is also a family member.
Though I don't recall the exact day, month or year, it was at her fundraiser
and my Mother-In-Law asked us to join her.
I do believe our Son Aidn was still in a stroller.
Many years would pass before our paths would cross again.
Though I didn't see her through the years, I always wondered how
she was doing in life.
I knew she was married with children and often prayed that the Big Guy
would gift her many years with her loved ones.
That's where Cyberspace and the beauty of blogs came in.
While reading my Sister-In-Law's wall at facebook I spotted our Cousin and
a link to her blog.
I started reading all the entries and enjoyed every one, a natural talent for a way
with words is hers and I still look forward to reading anything she has to say.
One day while I was deep and dark with the demons of myself, she reached out to
me and offered kindness and concern.
She'll never know what those simple gifts gave to me.
Since then we have spent more time together and are learning about each other.
It's very much a relationship of give and take but I always seem to be getting much
more than I'm giving.
Well that's how it feels to me, anyway.
How I'd like to clone her and few other fine folks I know so the world could be filled
with more helpful, humble humans.
Have I mentioned how blessed I feel today?, well I sure do and plan on hanging
on to this feeling for as longs as it flows.
My oldest Son just came in for lunch so I must say so long for now.
Thanks for reading what's on my mind and may this day find you in a well way.
I'm gonna leave a song that always seems fitting when I'm full of feelings for others.
One last thing, I'd like to ask any of you Lord lovers out there to please offer up
a prayer for my friend's well health and happiness, thank you so much!
"I can't know" is three little words I frequently use and today it applies to more
than one thought in the think tank.
Though I'm certain I don't have to mention what meaning is held in today, I will here
because it's been on my mind all morning.
How can eleven years have passed since that day of such demise?
I don't dare type the three numbers that are associated with these 24 hours,
for fear I will spend the rest of this gifted day in eye leaks.
I'd rather choose to live lively in it!, enjoying every single person and thing around me.
My mind wanders off to the faceless family and friends of those who lost their lives
on that mournful morning.
How their hearts must ache on this day.
Leaving the nest earlier, I was in a very sad way for reasons other than the one mentioned above.
It didn't take me long to turn it around though, a few words of encouragement
and concern from a couple of friends along with realizing what I needed to do,
did the trick.
Now, sitting back in the nest, happy and giving thanks for all I have in life I'm in a
better place to type from my heart (and mind grounds) :)
Also, I'd like to add that "I Can't Know" why such hatred and greed exist in
the world but I refuse to let it stop me from seeing the sweetness in what
life has to offer.
Back to the title at hand.
It's birth came from the mouth of my young Cousin one day while I was
babysitting him.
Though I don't recall the specific question I called upon him to answer, his reply
was simply stated, "I can't know, Aunt Ger"
I knew instantly that what he meant to say was, "I don't know" but for whatever
reason, that's not what he said.
For a year or so after that he always said "I can't know" when he didn't know the answer to a question.
It's still something many of us say when we don't know an answer to a question
and it cracks me up whenever I hear a loved one reference him by speaking it.
That, my friends, is a simple pleasure and I plan on taking part in many of them today.
Keeping with the flow of feelings here I want to share some of my yesterday
with all of you.
A Cousin on my Mom's side has recently moved here from "Out West" and
I was invited over for a visit.
Beyond beautiful the day was and we enjoyed catching up on each others lives.
Only one thing bummed me out, the "bugging me biggley" buzzing bees!
They were everywhere and we couldn't get away from them no matter where we
tried to bench our backsides.
Not a chance on my "Hell No!" highway would I let them ruin the marvelous
moments we had and it was truly a treat to see my Cousin and her Daughter
happy and doing well.
Well time is going by much to quickly and I have things to do so I'll say
Sayonara, so long and see ya later, for now.
Thanks for reading what's on my mind and may this day be marvelous, if
only because we're in it. :)
I feel as though I haven't blogged in months but it's only been a couple
weeks since my last entry.
This morning as I made my way from the nest, the song in this title was
playing in my mind.
It's always reminded me of Summer's end and every year when the kids
return to school I can be found humming it's tune.
Many things do I have to share with you here so I'll get right to it.
First off, I'd like to let you all know that my Aunt passed away on Aug 28th.
One day shy of her 71st birthday.
My Sis, her kids, my Hubby Bub and our children were all in Michigan when
she left this life but we were happy to put our vacation on hold so we could
come back to comfort our Mother and say our final goodbye.
We decided it would be best if my Husband stayed back while just Julie and I
go to the viewing.
This way, the kids could still enjoy the day while my Sis and I made our way
back to Windsor.
We planned on stopping in to see our Meme's Sister, Aunt Marce who is
now in a nursing home.
I'm so glad we found the time to follow through because I hadn't seen
her in a year and my Sister states several years have passed since she last
laid eyes on her.
Aunt Marce was always a very kind and gentle soul and I'm happy to say that
she still is, even though she may not remember so well.
As you may have already guessed, she has Alzheimer's and didn't remember
us when we entered her room.
Last year she knew who my children, Husband and I were, this year, not so much.
It was sad but we had a lovely visit and she truly was happy to have the company.
Over and over she told us of how her and her siblings had to be in bed by 9pm
every night in the Summer and my Sis and I could tell how it must have
peeved her plenty back then.
We had to laugh when she commented about the cute male staff and how
she didn't mind spending her days looking at them.
Aunt Marce has always been a sparkle in my life and I'm happy that we were
able to see her again.
Before I go any further in this entry I want tell you about a special guest that
joined us on August 28th for her birthday.
Our Cousin who is always busy and bustling about, just so happened to be free
and by the grace of our Aunt and Uncle's hospitality, she was able to spend the
night with us!
The pleasure was all ours and she cracked us all up with her comical ways.
Every time she would say "Oh shut the front door!" in place of a well known
swearing sentence, I would laugh out loud.
My Sister made butter chicken for her birthday dinner and we had a very nice night.
Thank you Cousin for choosing to spend your big day with us, we had a blast!
The week away flew by and though we had a terrific time, I just wish we could
find a way to make our visits linger on longer.
We ate like royalty and enjoyed every ounce of sunshine we were given, only one
day of rain, if I recall correctly.
During our stay there were a few scuffles, mainly due to my own stupidity and
stubbornness but I'm happy to report that no one lost an eye in any war of words.
The days were warm and wonderful while the nights were relaxing as we relished
the quite time after the children went to bed.
A perfect pleasure it was to witness and bask in the Blue Moon on Aug 31st.
Any of you that know me well can testify to the love I have for that
celestial sweet sight!
Another bright spot in our time away was having a childhood friend stop
by with her three Sons for a visit.
My Sister hadn't seen her in at least twenty years, it's been over five for me.
Superb it was hearing all about her family and sharing smiles and laughter
with her again.
Very much like my Sister is this woman, beautiful, bright and spreading
sunshine wherever she goes!
We spoke of getting together next year for a weekend and I do hope that happens.
Much time in our younger years did we spend with her family and I miss seeing them
on a regular basis.
I really must be going but before I do there is one more thing I'd like to
share with all of you.
The end of my Summer for the last couple of years has been our Aunt and Uncle's
Polish Luau Labour Day party.
My oldest Son and I have attended and helped out and this year we were pleased
to be invited back.
I love spending time talking with my Uncle's side of the family, I didn't know any
of them growing up so they are all new smiles to me.
They were very welcoming and warm with Liam and I and just like last year, we
worked hard to make everyone comfortable and content.
One of their guests was a Bridesmaid at their wedding and I was tickled when
I heard she and her Husband would be joining the party.
I remember very clearly how Maureen ended my crying at my Aunt and Uncle's
wedding when I was five years old.
No way on my "Hell No Highway" did I want to walk up that aisle alone and
wished only to be next to Maureen all day.
Seeing her again brought back a flood of those fine feelings and we shared many
kisses and hugs at the party.
She kept saying how my smile hasn't changed and how much she loved seeing
the things she had in common with my oldest Son.
It was wonderful to see everyone and felt so good at the end of the day
to know that we helped make it beautiful for everyone.
Often I feel useless and worthless because of my issues with self esteem
but I never feel like that when I am helping others.
Thank you to everyone who helped me have a very happy vacation, two in
one Summer is beyond sweet!
I'll leave these lines with a song titled the same as my above entry and a few
pictures from our travels.
Thanks for reading whats on my mind and may this day be going your way!
That's what's on the mind grounds this morning.
Recently I went to see an Aunt in the hospital who is very ill and it's got me
thinking about life in a large way.
This Aunt has always been very kind and considerate towards me and other
members in my family and I'm sad with worry for her well health.
Like when anyone I love is sick or in a bad way, I always want to run to their
side and do anything I can to make them smile or feel better.
My Mother has always told me how her oldest Sister was like a Mother to her
since they lost theirs when my Mom was only sixteen.
She was there for her when she struggled in her first pregnancy and gave birth
only six months after their Mother had died of Leukemia.
Through the agony of giving her first child up for adoption.
A few short years later she would again be there for the bumps and bruises
of , marriage, two more pregnancies and eventually a divorce and custody battle.
Through it all, there was my Aunt, always offering her love, support and encouragement.
It hurts to not only to know that she may not have long to live but to see my
Mother in sadness over it as well.
I feel helpless and long to heal my Mothers heart and rid my Aunt of her disease.
Yesterday I had breakfast with three of my Cousins, two of them also call
the lady I've mentioned, their Aunt.
We spoke of how good she looked when we had our reunion in July and of
how quickly things change in life.
I am so happy that we had those precious moments back on July 20th
because they mean even more to me now.
The conversations were kept light and I'm sure that's because none of us
wanted to sink in the sadness of the situation and always seek sharing smiles
when we're all together.
What I took from our breakfast meeting was a renewed sense of love for not
only those I have in my life but for the precious time we've been given to share
those moments, thanks Big Guy!
This weekend I will be gathering with my Sister and her crew.
Call it an end of Summer Soiree.
I am very excited for this as I will be getting my oldest Son back.
You see, my Sister and her Husband have had the pleasure of his company
all Summer and I miss him so very much!
I know we'll have fun and I can't wait to soak in all the smiles, sunshine and moonlight.
Last night we allowed our youngest Son to have a sleep over and though
they were up way to late for my liking, I'm beaming over their best behaviour.
Aidn hasn't had very many friends since we moved here seven years ago and
it pleases my blood pumper to see him have more people to play with now.
I never had many friends at his age but I'm happy to say that the one I was closest
to back then, I'm still in close contact with now.
Well I just made the boys potato pancakes for breakfast and my Son's friend
has never had them before.
I'm basking in the praise from there mouths and bellies, it is a great thing when
others appreciate the efforts we make for them, isn't it?
I'll leave you with a picture I posted not long ago here, just feel like it needs
to be seen again.
Also, I will leave you with a finely fitting song for this blog entry and a couple
of pictures from yesterday.
In closing I would like to ask any of you out there that are Lord lovers to please offer
up a prayer for my Aunt's well health, she needs them now more than ever!
Thank you for reading what's on my mind and may this day be marvelous for you!
This week has been a rough one and when that happens I often go to the
water to quiet my mind and the world around me.
Yesterday that's exactly what I did.
After spending the day in "irritable self syndrome mode", I was ready for
release when my Husband came home from work.
He instantly knew there was something wrong and started to try peeling the layers
of my problems away.
I would have none of that though, if I started to let my sourness out it would just
snowball into things that had nothing to do with my miserable way.
I needed to be alone with my ugliness, no good ever comes from
unleashing it on others.
So I put my pounds to pedaling and made may way to where I longed to be,
along the waters edge.
The weather was warm with a threat of rain in the clouds above but that was the
furthest thing from my mind.
Though a sky seep would have felt finely fitting for my foul mood, I'm glad the
clouds held it together so I could sit and reflect about my sour self.
While I was down there I thought about the many nights I spent sitting alone at the
beach as a teen and just how much of my life has been spent in or by the water.
How many times have I cried to her swaying shore?
Just thinking those thoughts, once again brought about the eye leaks that marked
my face on and off through the day.
That old expression "you are your own worst enemy" rings true in me and yesterday
I made sure that I would stay stuck in the mud of myself for most of the day.
Thinking back on how hard I thought life was at 14, I realize now just how much
easier it could have been if I had only applied myself more.
That has had a direct impact on how I live life now.
Though I fall flat on my face frequently and fumble through most tasks, I keep trying!
I find comfort in that because there are moments when I just don't want to
live in my skin.
Today I can see clearly and what's visible is the vestige in the verge of destruction.
No worries Folks, I'm fine and refueled.
Standing on the rail by the water I looked up and down the river for anything
to make me smile.
The mermaid I was hoping for never made her way to the surface but
something more meaningful showed it's face.
Walking back to the picnic table I had parked myself on earlier, I wondered
why my number hasn't been called?
I was feeling like quite a failure and wanted the big guy to answer me that one question, directly!
A tidal wave in the think tank of thoughts came crashing through, "I've failed my kids, Husband and all my loved ones", "Why couldn't I be more like others?", "There's nothing positive in me", "I feel stupid and untalented", "You made me as an example to show the world what a failure really is, didn't you!?"
"She was right, I didn't amount to anything" and on it went for several minutes.
You know what those are, don't you?
They're Pity Party Favors, Folks.
Though I'm uncertain if I should share such intimate thoughts of myself,
with all of you, it's the one thing that makes me believe I'm trying to do
something for the benefit of my well health.
Speaking in smiles and sunshine doesn't always work for me.
Anyway, I was telling you about the meaningful thing I saw.
As I was eye leaks into my unending emotions, wiping my tears, I looked
West and saw a women in the distance walking her dog and heading towards me.
She walked as if intoxicated and once she got close enough for me to see the
details of her face, I realized why.
She was clearly crippled with some disease that not only disfigured her
facial features but also made mobility difficult for her.
I smiled at her as she walked past and she gave me a grin, it was a
wonderful moment.
Instantly my thoughts changed direction and I knew that a sign was
just offered to me.
It was then, the pity party was at it's end. :)
Moments later my Husband showed up to check on me, being well aware of
the woeful way I was in.
I told him that I would be along soon and after he left I got on my
bike and made my way home.
So with the clean slate of a new day and it is Friday after all, I've given
myself another good talking to and decided that the only way to sow
successful seeds in life is to plant them in a plentiful field.
I like to think that's what I've been doing here since last November.
That was hard but I'm feeling pretty good about my decision.
I've always been a risk taker and I've been playing Russin Roulette with
the monsters in my mind, for years.
I'll leave you with a song that's like an old friend to me.
Thanks for reading what's on my mind and may this day be filled
with delight for us all.
Many people come to mind when I think of those I look to.
Topping the list most days are my Aunt and my Sister.
Both are very kind and generous souls who often put the needs and desires
of others, first.
My Aunt's entry into the pearly gates is something I'd be willing to bet on.
Hopefully all of you have someone like that in your life, as well.
When I think of how I'd like to improve things about me, it's her and a couple
of others that I'd like a carbon copy from.
My Father is also one who I look to but now that he's departed I have only
the past to search for the lessons he left me.
Actually there are many folks I see different strengths in.
Some friends that we've met up with in the last week, are some.
My Cousin (close friend) came over for dinner on Tuesday and while
we were chatting it up, one of our favorite couples, stopped by.
It's been quite awhile since we've seen them last and it was super sitting,
sharing smiles and laughter with them again.
I met the Wife half of the D&D Duo, twenty years ago when she worked
with my Mother.
Not long after we were introduced, we became best of friends.
Her mild manner and forgiving nature, has always held my admiration.
Quite comical she is, as well and constantly cracks me up.
She's had her share of bumps in the road of life, sink holes even but she
stuck it out, slapped a smile on her face and stepped forward.
Now she is happily married to a man I also admire.
He loves her and all their children, works his backside to the bone
for less than he's ever had to before and is devoted to his loved ones.
Always welcoming when it comes to friends and family, he opens his heart
and home to all of us.
I'm thankful to have had three of my best friends over for a visit and hope
that we can get together again soon.
Over the weekend we were once again in Wheatley, this time it was to
help our friends.
Our youngest Son brought a friend with him and it was wonderful to see
them having fun.
Jumping, splashing and sharing laughter were highlights of the weekend for me.
As always, our friends were generous and great to keep company with.
The food was fabulous and our time there sped by, way to quickly for my liking,
Thanks for all the love, laughter and late nights this Summer, my friends,
they won't soon be forgotten and I'm forever thankful for them.
Though I don't know yet if his efforts paid off, my Husband worked on getting
their hot tub back to bubbly.
A few weeks back he removed the broken piece and just put the new one in.
I hope it worked but none of us were sure when we left.
Back to the title at hand which I really haven't strayed from.
I gather that all of those I love and spend precious time with are indeed the
ones I look to.
Some, for nothing more than a reassuring smile or supportive squeeze,
others offer humor and help lighten my load with laughter.
My children give me promise in their personalities, they persevere
and plow on even against my best efforts to tame them.
My Husband, who is to blame for my hair loss some days, works harder than
anyone I know and always gives it his best go.
Blessed is me and I know it!
Though I'm in pain today, I've been focusing on the fabulousness of the
Folks in my life.
Yup, I'm provoking the positive so I can numb the negative!
Well I must get to this day, it's Monday and that always means more
effort needs to be made!
I'll add a picture from our get together last week.
Thanks for reading what's on my mind and may you enjoy the remainder of this day.
